老外听到哪些中式英语时，内心是崩溃的？
英语学了很多年的世纪君，常思考一个问题：老外听到Chinglish会是一种怎样的体验？是不是跟咱听老外说蹩脚中文一样虐?
然而，就近年情况目测：他们并没被我们雷个外焦里嫩，反而感觉好极了~
不仅Long time no see（好久不见）这样的中式英语老外能听懂；No zuo no die（不作死就不会死）、You can you up（你行你上啊）这种中式网络流行语，也赫然出现在美国在线俚语词典Urban Dictionary中；甚至高大上的《牛津英语词典》还收录了Dama（大妈）、Tuhao（土豪）音译特色词汇。
难道今后说英语可以任由咱尽情创造，任性发挥了？当然…… 想得美！歪果仁已经在Quora上列举了各种让他们崩溃的中式英语，憋说你没中枪！
网友James Ford：
Sentences that indicate the time something will occur are almost never correctly phrased by Chinese people. The most common statement is, "He will arrive after one hour". Again, I understand, but a native speaker would never say that.
中国小伙伴们最爱在时间表达上出错，最常见的就是这种：He will arrive after one hour. 只想说，我明白你的意思，但是英语是母语的人不会这样说。（应该把after换成in。）
The other phrase I seem to hear often is, "You have a rest". While it's not seriously incorrect is another repeated phrase I hear only in China (Americans would say "go get some rest").
另一个常能听到的句子是You have a rest. 也只有在中国才听过好几次，细想想也不能算有错。如果是让人去歇歇，美国人一般会说：Go get some rest.
网友Ron TF Lum：
I took Chinese language courses in college so I know the reason for this is because the word used to refer to a person is unisex（不分性别）, "ta" or 他. So for Chinese speakers, distinguishing he/she isn't always an ingrained habit.
我在学校里学过中文，所以知道中文里的“ta”或者“他”可以男女通用，口语中更没有第三人称分男女的习惯。
As you can imagine, things can get funny when a guy from China describes his date using English.
因此，你就可以想象到一个中国小伙用英语描述他对象的情景了~
网友Ryan Chew：
In English, tenses are indicated by adding word endings, thereby altering the word itself. Chinese words are isolated and do not change meaning. Instead, additional words are postfixed to reflect past tenses.
英语中的时态都体现在动词的词尾上，而中文里没有这种词形变化，要靠补充其他词来表示。
举几个栗子，你就明白了：
我吃过了。
English: I have eaten.
Chinglish: I eat already.
我去过了。
English: I went there.
Chinglish: I go already.
我见过她了。
English: I have met her.
Chinglish: I meet her already.
网友Gale Pedowitz：
The most common pattern I've noticed is the use of "until now" instead of "so far". This is an error I see from otherwise advanced non-native speakers who have (otherwise) mastered tense. For example, to express the concept "I have not seen it":
我见过最多的错是“until now”和“so far”两个不分。（可能是因为中文里都和“至今”有关的原因。）就连一些英语水平还不错的人也常搞混，比如：
Common usage error: I have not seen it until now.
Correct intent: I have not seen it, so far.
The person meant to express "I have never seen it", but the incorrect use of "until now" means "I am seeing it now for the first time."
这两种表达的区别就在于，本意是指从来都没见过时用so far；如果用了until now则意思是以前没见过，现在是第一次见。
看完歪果仁的吐槽，是不是感觉自己的英语水平还有上升的空间？憋捉急，刚走出国门的小伙伴，脑子也经常转不过来，总也甩不掉Chinglish，让老外狂晕不止呢↓↓↓
刚来的时候看到很多大厦门口都有smoke free~ 我由衷感叹加拿大就是好，抽烟都免费！朋友那个汗……（Smoke Free是禁止吸烟。）
有一天去KFC，要土豆泥不会说，就在那里跟人家苦喊potato sauce。然后，人给我了7、8袋ketchup（番茄酱）。被鄙视了~~（Mashed Potato，土豆泥……）
有次买车票，工作人员问我："One way?" 我回答："No, two way." 他又问了我几遍，我的答案还是一样的…… 结果那人很郁闷地看着我，后来才反应过来自己还在中文的思维中。我把他的意思理解为One way=一位？ 我们是两个人，所以two way=两位……
有次房东问我："Did you eat anything yet?" 我说："No." 她听后重复了一遍："So you didn't eat anything." 我说："Yes..." 房东老太太犹豫了下，又问："Did you eat?" 我说："No." 她接着说："So you didn't eat." 我说："Yes." ……估计她当时要崩溃了~
我刚来的时候邻居小孩看见我跟我说What's up。我疑惑地朝天上看了半天然后说了句up？那孩子顿时无语。
你咋不上天啊？
看来，背再多的单词，不注意英文中的细节和老外的习惯，还是说不出地道的英文。下面这9句中式英语，你躺枪了几句？
1. 这个价格对我挺合适的。
中式英语：The price is very suitable for me.
地道英语：The price is right.
2. 用英语怎么说?
中式英语：How to say?
地道英语：How do you say this in English?
3. 明天我有事情要做。
中式英语：I have something to do tomorrow.
地道英语：I am tied up all day tomorrow.
4. 我没有英文名。
中式英语：I haven't English name.
地道英语：I don't have an English name.
5. 我想我不行。
中式英语：I think I can't.
地道英语：I don't think I can.
6. 我的舞也跳得不好。
中式英语：I don't dance well too.
地道英语：I am not a very good dancer either.
7. 现在几点钟了?
中式英语：What time is it now?
地道英语：What time is it, please?
8. 你愿意参加我们的晚会吗?
中式英语：Would you like to join our party on Friday?
地道英语：Would you like to come to our party on Friday night?
9. 我没有经验。
中式英语：I have no experience.
地道英语：I don't know much about that.
