一直以为逼婚是“中国特色”，那些四五十岁周游列国逍遥自在的外国人多么令人羡慕，可是现在看来...似乎并不是这样...

　　在 Life Tips 网站上有个印度妹子发了一篇文章，名字叫做 "I'm 29. Single. Woman. Indian (Read:"You're not married yet? Hawwwwwwww")"里面逼婚的桥段跟咱们的《春节反逼婚攻略》如出一辙。妹子一一列举，并用英语驳斥，也许以后我们可以学着用这些理由和英语驳斥爹妈。

　　

　　当我拒绝了一个相亲对象时，他们说：You won't find a guy like him, he is a prized catch！

　　我说：I know, but I'm not fishing.

　　当我直接说我不想结婚的时候，他们说：If you don't get married now, you'll lose all the cream.

　　我说：Who wants the cream, aunty? Cream is fat. The real flavour is in the left-over coffee.

　　他们担心的好远：How would it look if you get married at 40?

　　我呵呵呵：Don't worry, I won't show it to anyone. I'll elope.

　　当他们无话可说的时候，他们说：You have to get married.

　　我问：Why?

　　他们: Because you have to get married.

　　

　　当我有朋友结婚的时候，他们说：Your friend is getting married. Don't you want to?

　　我：If your friend jumps off a bridge, then would you too?

　　当他们迷之捉急的时候：Please get married fast.

　　我好奇宝宝：Why, what's the hurry?

　　他们仍然迷之捉急：Maybe you're not in a hurry, but we are！

　　我：Who's stopping you then? Want to get married again? I thought you were already married!

　　有时候这样的奇葩理由他们也能想出来：When are you getting married? We want to buy new clothes.

　　我只能：I know you don't fit in your old ones any more and need new ones, but why not wait till they're on sale?

　　

　　他们要给我相亲：What kind of guy do you want? We'll find him for you.

　　那么去找一个好了：A billionaire who owns a private island somewhere in Europe.

　　有时候他们真的想太多：You know we're all open to marrying you outside the community. You can tell if you want to marry someone from another culture.

　　Sure, I'd like to explore Slovenia. Would you sponsor my tickets?

　　爸妈，你们以为我是傻子吗？Single girls don't get a visa to the U.S.

　　Oh but I don't want to go there. I'm eyeing Slovenia, remember?

　　总觉得25对他们来说意味着什么：You're already 25! If you don't get married now, when will your life start?

　　I'm just waiting for a new body to attach myself to. Being a ghost and spending all day haunting people is exhausting! Let me know if you're giving up yours.

　　显然，25岁之后我就是丑八怪了：You know, girls look their best when they are under 25. So they should get married before that.

　　You know uncle, boys behave best when they are toddlers. So they shouldn't grow up.

　　

　　那会儿我正考虑去德国留学，他们可担心了：What if you end up marrying a German guy? What will people say? That you married a German!!!

　　So if I actually go to Germany, and fall in love with a German and end up marrying him, imagine what would people say to him? That he married an Indian!!!

　　他们甚至用这个来威胁我：These days if someone doesn't want to get married, they're probably gay.

　　And these days if someone wants to get married, they're probably forced into getting married.

　　用孤独终老来威胁我：If you don't get married, you'll get lonely when you grow old.

　　I'm not sure I'm going to grow old in the first place. And as long as people don't talk about getting married, I'm never lonely.

　　逻辑跪了：So, what's the deal with not getting married?

　　Wait… what's the deal with getting married????